Because I want to love the Catholic Church, and I know that certain groups within it are doing some really great work, but it just makes me super mad that I had to grow up with this bullshit. Needless to say, Stephen Fry cleans their clock.
So, WTFWJD? is turning one on February 19th. I realize that I've been conspicuously absent for a good chunk of the time this blog has been in existence, but a birthday is still an exciting thing, dammit, and I want to celebrate.
I know you're all wondering what I want for WTFWJD?'s birthday, and luckily for you, the answer is pretty simple: I want 1,000 Facebook fans.
So, if you haven't already, go here:
While scouring the Internet for the best, most offensive stories of Christans being douchebags, I came across a little gem from the Collins Report. Before we get in to it, however, I think we should address the question that's clearly on everyone's mind: what is the Collins Report? Well, gentle readers, you'll be glad to know that I have no idea. I tried to do some research to see if anyone had said anything about said Collins Report, but apparently it exists mainly in it's own little fishbowl, with some brief mentions from other neo-conservative blogs.
Here's what I do know:
1. It's written by some guy who calls himself "Coach."
2. He frequently calls Barney Frank a "pig" (kind of ironic, considering "Coach" used to be a cop).
3. He claims that "Obamacare" will lead to a "rationing of health care as is done in Canada."*
That's as far as I got before I felt as though I had learned enough. So, without further delay, from the Collins Report:
Wow. All right, Coach. Let's have a chat about 'facts.'Democrats like to say “A fish rots from the head down.” Where are they now that Harry Knox, a militant homosexual advisor to Obama, has once again attacked the Catholic Church?
Knox, Obama’s Faith Based Advisor, has renewed his attack on Pope Benedict XVI charging he is trying to use the name of Jesus to hurt people by stating that condoms increase the spread of AIDS in Africa; as if they don’t.
Just another Gay activist willing to lie
To the pseudo religious Left condoms are a sacrament they’ll go to war to defend.
In the “oh so suave and sophisticated” world of Obama, and those he surrounds himself with, it’s not politically correct to ever challenge the effectiveness of condoms because they provide the type of hedonistic non-judgmental freedom that is at the very core of their lifestyle.The “Beautiful people” will never admit it but condoms had a very serious failure rate of over 30% in a University of Texas report. The study was an examination of eleven independent surveys whose findings went beyond a mathematical failure rate to an explanation of why the failures happen.
Sexual intercourse and contact with contaminated blood products (e.g., intravenous drug use) account for the majority of HIV infections. The wearing of condoms during sexual intercourse has been promoted to reduce the infection and spread of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) such as HIV. The review of studies found that condoms, when used consistently, substantially reduced HIV infection but did not totally eliminate the risk of infection.As it turns out, Coach, condoms are about 85% effective in preventing the spread of HIV among heterosexual couples. If my calculations are correct, that makes them 85% more effective than unprotected sex, which is what Pope Nazipants told Africa to have (albeit monogomously, like that's realistic. Oh look! An entire continent full of monogomous people! How quaint!). Nope, the fact of the matter is that just because you don't want condoms to work doesn't mean they don't. They do. They're awesome. Sex is fun.
You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.Psalm 5:6 says:
You destroy those who tell lies;Proverbs 24:28 says:
bloodthirsty and deceitful men
the LORD abhors.
Do not testify against your neighbor without cause,1 Peter 3:10 says:
or use your lips to deceive.
For,I think you get the picture. Lying is wrong. It says so in the Bible. You can check it if you don't believe me. WTFWJD?
"Whoever would love life
and see good days
must keep his tongue from evil
and his lips from deceitful speech.
Welcome to The Gospel: People Doing WTF Jesus Would Do. It's a new thing I'm trying on for size. See, every once in a while I get good news that pops up in my mailbox, and I want to share it with you guys. So here it is: the first edition of The Gospel. Enjoy.
Evangelical Christian Lobbyist is Awesome, Gets Fired, Then Comes Back With a Vengance
From Newsweek (courtesy of Morgan):
Richard Cizik remembers it this way: he had just come home from a week in Australia and was about to jet off to Paris when he sat down on Dec. 2, 2008 forNow, this wouldn't be particularly impressive were it not for the fact that Cizik had been the Washington lobbyist for the National Association of Evangelicals for over 30 years. Unfortunately for Cizik, however, these remarks cost him his job. But the story doesn't end there.A few minutes later, she asked the question that would cost Cizik his job: "Have you changed on gay marriage?"
"I'm shifting," Cizik answered, truthfully, "I have to admit. In other words, I would willingly say I believe in civil unions."
After a year of keeping a low profile, Cizik is "making a comeback," as he puts it. This week he announces the formation of the New Evangelical Partnership for the Common Good, a group devoted to developing Christian responses to global and political issues such as environmentalism, nuclear disarmament, human rights, and dialogue with the Muslim world. . . . For years, Cizik has been saying that the evangelical right needs to reframe its politics, to walk away from divisive name calling and find common ground with opponents, even on hot-button issues like abortion and gay marriage.Way to go, Mr. Cizik. Walkin' the path of the righteous, you are. Nice work.
(via reddit)
Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.
Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can’t legally get married because the world needs more children.
Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage is allowed, since Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.
Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are property, blacks can’t marry whites, and divorce is illegal.
Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.
Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why single parents are forbidden to raise children.
Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven’t adapted to things like cars or longer life-spans.
Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a “separate but equal” institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will.
(Via Laughing Squid)
I'm having trouble picking a favorite. Nice work, guys.
Sup, guys? Are you still there? Will I still come up on your RSS feeds? DO YOU STILL LOVE ME?!?!?!
Turns out these days I have more free time than I did last semester. This is probably because I am taking a heavier course load and thus have more procrastinating to do. Anyway, I thought it'd be nice to loudly complain about an entire religion on the Internet again. It's good for the soul, you know.
While you'll likely find that I won't update this as often as I did when I was slacking at my desk job, I do think it's fair to say that I'll be updating with some regularity for the foreseeable future. Hope that's kosh with you guys.
So anyway, on to Haiti. I'm sure you all heard about what a phenomenal douchebag Pat Robertson is. If not, check this out:
Members of a U.S. Christian group face accusations of child trafficking in Haiti after being stopped at the Dominican Republic border with 33 children they said were orphaned in the Jan. 12 earthquake.Now, I realize that nobody's been convicted of anything (yet), but for the sake of argument, let's assume these allegations are true and that this organization really thought it was a good idea to kidnap Haitian children. Let's see what the Bible has to say on that subject, shall we?
Five men and five women, members of the Baptist group New Life Children's Refuge, have been held since Friday in Port-au-Prince, Agence France-Presse reported Monday.
Haitian authorities said the Americans have no documents showing the children are orphans and no permission to take them away.
"We have information about people trying to steal kids to take them out of the country, which is the reason why the government has decided to reinforce security," AFP quoted Haitian Communications Minister Marie-Laurence Lassegue as saying.
Anyone who kidnaps another and either sells him or still has him when he is caught must be put to death.I think you all know how I feel about putting people to death (in case you don't, I think it's bad). I think you also know how I feel about the bulk of the Old Law that appears in Exodus and Leviticus (also bad). But Baptists, i.e. literal interpretationists, i.e. fundamentalists believe in the verbatim truth of the Bible, and therefore they believe that it is wrong to kidnap. You know... unless you're saving heathen babies from a life of sin and bringing them to loving, Christian parents who will teach them the way of the Lord and make sure they don't turn out gay or something.
Hey, guys.
So, I realize it's been a while since I so unceremoniously abandoned you in favor of academic (and other) pursuits. You've probably all forgotten about me in the time I've been away, but I do want to apologize to the few of you who may have been checking back every so often wondering why I wasn't offering my two cents on various recent events (such as Conservapedia's declaration that the Bible has a liberal bias). You shouldn't have had to go through that alone (although Stephen Colbert did cover it pretty nicely. I'm assuming you all watched).
But here's what I've discovered in my time away: if I have to blog one more thing about how the Christian right in America is the opposite of Christianity, I'm going to stab myself in the eye. I think it's fair to say that we've covered this topic pretty thoroughly, and it's almost certainly fair to say that I really don't feel like covering it any more thoroughly, so it's definitely fair to say that this is the end of WTFWJD?.
That said, the day I stop blogging will be the day I stop being the only person in my radio production class who openly admits to loving the sound of her own voice (aka never). So, for those happy few of you who are interested, I have a new fledgling blog that reflects my more varied interests. It's called Windbag, and it's here. It's not that intense yet, but I'm sure it'll be awesome. I'm also sure there will eventually be an accompanying podcast (otherwise what would be the point of taking a radio production class?).
So, so long, and thanks for the good times, the good conversation, and all the fish. And remember to ask yourself, before you go around denying health insurance to fat babies, WTF Would Jesus Do?
Love,
Jocelyn.
Before I get to today's post, I want to apologize for my prolonged absence from the blogosphere. I am in the midst of a cross-continental move, and therefore have been so busy putting off packing that I neglected WTFWJD? and it's loyal readers. I should also note that the next month or so will likely be pretty sparse in terms of posts, but I promise not to ignore you for three weeks again. That's just lame.
Anyway, on to this awesome video:
Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'The message of that passage, in every translation of the Bible, is essentially the same. Perhaps it would be wise for those who spend their time bickering over semantics to remember that. WTFWJD?
Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'
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