Did you miss me?

Hey everybody. Sorry for the week-long absence. I got really sick of only talking about the Catholics (most notably, the Pope), and was hoping I'd come across something else about which to bitch. Unfortunately, however, it seems Pope Nazipants is the only one pulling shit right now, so I'm just going to have to keep Catholic-bashing until some Baptists burn down an abortion clinic or something.

You may not have heard this, as it's barely been mentioned in the news*, but the Pope went to Africa. And while in Africa, he said this about AIDS: "You can't resolve it with the distribution of Condoms . . . . On the contrary, it increases the problem." Shocking, I know. Why this hasn't been in the news at all is beyond me.*

So yeah, that prompted all kinds of responses. The World Health Assembly was like "uh, no", the Mozambique Health Minister was like "uh, no", and pretty much the whole world was like "uh, no." So what's the deal? Catholic doctrine states that life actually begins pre-conception. And the hilarious part is that it begins as sperm. That's right, sperm.

Obviously, it'd have to be sperm, or Catholic women would be sitting shiva every month for their poor little uninseminated babies. That would just be ridiculous, and God knows the Catholic Church doesn't want to go around being ridiculous. So, it's wrong for boys to masturbate. It's wrong for girls to masturbate too, but that's because they're supposed to be sexless pod-people who no more deserve sexual urges than a place in the clergy. It's also wrong to use any kind of birth control, as sex is reserved specifically for procreation purposes.

What's particularly interesting, however, is that this is an idea that has lost favour with the Catholic Church for quite some time. It was, for a while, something that wasn't really talked about. Nazipants, however, being the unbelievable asshole that he is, likes to drum up outdated doctrine and present it as truth. Because he's an unbelievable asshole.

On issues such as these, I usually tend to come to the conclusion that I don't agree with the Pope, but he has a right, based on Catholic doctrine, to say these things. This time, however, it's different. He's not telling married couples in North America that they have to keep having babies until they can't have no more babies. No, he's telling a continent that has the most devastating AIDS problem on the planet that condoms will make it worse, which is a big fucking lie. What this amounts to, in my opinion, is murder. Nazipants presents himself as a "moral authority" and as such gets on his high fucking horse and says "Oh no! Don't kill the little spermies! They are God's children!" (Proving once again that the Catholic Church only gives a shit about you if you haven't been born yet.) The problem is people listen to him. There's already a stigma around using condoms in Africa. Apparently a lot of guys there see it as emasculating (because infecting everyone you fuck with, and slowly dying of a horrible disease is super macho). The last thing these people need is the goddamn stupid asshole pope telling them condoms suck.

It literally amounts to murder. By encouraging Africans not to take measures that are proven pretty effective in not spreading this horrible, deadly disease, Pope Nazipants is signing a death sentence for anyone stupid enough to listen to him. No, he's not actually killing these people himself, but it's pretty much the same thing. I'm sure there's something about this in the Bible. Oh yeah, Exodus 20:13 says:

Thou shalt not kill.

So yeah, some moral authority this pope has turned out to be. In the last few months alone he: re-communicated an antisimetic, anti-Vatican II asswhipe of a bishop (then made him apologise when people got pissed); promoted another bishop who thinks God goes around smiting people (then demoted him when people got pissed); allowed the doctors who provided a life-saving abortion to a 9-year-old girl to be excommunicated, along with her mother, while the man who raped her is still a member of the church (and hasn't had two words to say about it); and now he's basically said that condoms cause AIDS.

(From News24.com)

The Catholic church in Italy lashed out on Monday at what it called a "mockery" of Pope Benedict XVI for rejecting condoms as a weapon against Aids, comments that he made while on a visit to Africa.

"We will not accept the Pope being made the object of mockery and offence, in the media or elsewhere," said Angelo Bagnasco, the country's top bishop, citing the "controversy about condoms".

"He represents for everyone a moral authority, which this journey has made people appreciate even more," Bagnasco said.

Sorry Bagnasco, but Pope Nazipants the Dickth does NOT "represent for everyone a moral authority." He is a twisted, confused old man who values archaic dogma above human life, and in doing so has made a mockery not only of the Catholic Church, but of morality itself. He is an unrighteous man and an unworthy leader. And, as the papacy is a life sentence, I have to confess that I look forward to his death.

Nazipants, you horrible, horrible man, WTFWJD?

*Lest my sarcasm does not manifest itself well without snarky vocal inflection, I thought I'd clarify that I am being sarcastic.